So I started reading the book Radical by David Platt on Friday. I’m already almost halfway through it! I can’t put it down, yet sometimes I want to due to its conviction. I strongly encourage everyone to read it. It will most definitely change your way of thinking.
Anyway. For about 6 months I have been living my life how I’ve kinda wanted to…not according to the Word. I hadn’t been to church since I think about March sometime. I stopped going because I saw how fake a lot of people are. Looking back, it was selfish of me to stop going. I wanted everyone to notice me and talk to me. I wanted to move away and start all over again. I dabbled in things that I knew were wrong. Honestly, I had fun…in the worldly sense. But there was something missing that I kept trying to find in other things. Last Sunday I finally decided to get up and go to church. It was good and all, but my heart still wasn’t right. I was still searching. Then I went with my friend to her church. She’s Pentecostal. The preacher spoke on 2 Kings 2, where Elijah was taken into heaven. Elisha wouldn’t leave his side, so Elijah asked him what he wanted. He said he wanted a double portion of his spirit. The Spirit showed up that night in that little church. Though I outwardly didn’t show it, I wanted that double portion of the Spirit that Elisha asked for. On the way home, I prayed and asked God to forgive me for the life I had been living. I can tell you that He did forgive me. That feeling of forgiveness is something that I will never forget! Having God back in my life as the priority, I started reading His Word again and worshipping Him on my guitar. That peace and that joy that only He can give….O how I missed it! The joy of the Lord is truly my strength!
So today, church was different. God spoke to me about how I’ve judged people, especially the ones at work. When I got home, I started to read chapter 4 in Radical. I honestly can’t tell you what it said, but I CAN tell you that the Spirit stirred inside me a passion that I hadn’t had in a little over 2 years. The question came up…What if there’s a reason that I haven’t finished school yet? Do I really need an education to share the Gospel to those around me…not just around me…around the world? Look at Paul and Silas. As they were tried and sent to prison in Acts, men around them thought to themselves, “Aren’t these just ordinary, uneducated men?” That they were, but they had a power in them that spurred them toward higher things! Then Mr. Platt started talking about the poor in the book. As a church, we’re raising funds to build orphanages in Haiti. Ever since the campaign started, my heart has been set on going on a short-term trip down there. I’m praying about going in November.
God has stirred something up inside me! I’m loving it! I know I can do nothing in my own power; it is through Christ that I can do anything (Phil 4:13). I am not worthy of such a calling, but I accept it. I accept that I am His daughter, a daughter of the King of Kings, and that His love for me will never end.
